Great Scotch!

I've been talking a lot about toys lately. They are fun and colorful and do neat things and make lots of noise (if they're the really good kind).

Today I'd like to discuss the single greatest toy invention of all time.

This product is by FAR the favorite among my kids. In fact, I'd venture to say kids round the world have spent countless hours of joy creating and building with and enjoying this item. It seems SO popular around here, actually, that I kinda wish I'd bought stock in it a few years back. I could've tripled my money at this point from my household alone.

So what is it?

None other than Scotch Tape. Or any tape, for that matter.

Yes, folks, Scotch Tape. It is the all-time most popular thing around here. And why not? You can tape masterpieces to the walls, make all sorts of crafts, or fix broken toys (or mom's broom which you "accidentally" played with even though you weren't supposed to and broke).

And the best feature? Tape your little sister's mouth shut and make her think it's a fun game!

The girls have learned the hard way over the years that tape does not work so well, however, on one's face. Eyelashes, eyebrows, hairline...not a great idea for tape placement.

Apparently this tape obsession runs in my husband's family. My mother-in-law tells me that when Michael was a kid, she could almost NEVER find tape in her house because he had been working feverishly to tape everything they owned together. His Dad used to come home and express slight irritation that the kids had used up all the tape AGAIN and that this stuff was not free, you know.

My mother-in-law calmly replied that tape was a pretty cheap toy, and if it entertained her children for THAT long without being totally destructive, that she would give it to them all day long. You see, this sweet lady had her four children in groups of two. First, she had a girl, then two years later, my husband. TEN years later, she got a surprise in another little baby boy. And after that, a mere 13 months later, a baby girl came along!

I'd say she was entitled to all the tape necessary to help her keep her sanity, wouldn't you?

I do, however, find that I've had to place some limits on tape usage around here. For example, taping the hamsters to the wall. Bad idea.

Also off the list: tape on the dog. He's not a big fan.

"Oh, the humiliation. They've started dressing me up because they can no longer tape things to me."

Pretty much there should be no tape usage involving animals of any kind. Unless they are stuffed animals, in which case it is still kind of frowned upon on my walls, but more acceptable than actual live animals.

My girls LOVE to draw, paint, cut, you name it. If paper is involved, they're in. It's like a match made in heaven, really. Paper AND tape?! I've literally forgotten what color the walls are in some rooms in our home. They have been covered so completely with construction paper and computer paper and whatever else kind of paper the girls can find, that I have to really look closely to identify which room I am in. My husband particularly enjoys this as the tape has been known to remove paint from the walls.

Currently, my oldest has white crepe paper taped to her door, a pumpkin she drew, her nametag from VBS last summer, and a multi-colored heart she colored. Tape, tape, tape.

We even have a pumpkin and a bat taped to the front door for Halloween decorations. Someone lives in this house who is none too pleased that I won't buy any scary decorations, so she made her own. You should see the bat's creepy fangs.

Tape has served as an instant face lift for old stuffed animals. This can be slightly disturbing to see when I walk into their room to make a bed and there sits the stuffed animal, its eyes pulled back so tight and its ears taped down so firmly that it makes Cher look downright normal.

It could be so much worse for my house. How? Glue comes to mind. I will never complain about a little tape.

The day I call it quits on tape usage around here will be a sad one. Pretty much the only thing that will REALLY get my attention is when my child comes shuffling into my room, her eyes wide in desperation for rescue, her body taped like a mummy from head to toe as her sisters look on in delight.

And even then I might finish my cup of coffee before de-taping her. Okay, okay, if she can't breathe I'll likely leave my coffee momentarily.

Tape. A mother's lifeline.