Learning to Leap

Her screams could be heard halfway across the store. Walking by, I heard her mother say, "No!  We are not going BACK to the bathroom!  We're not going to spend all our time at the store in the bathroom." The screaming resumed with even greater intensity. "But I want to!  I have to go!  I HAVE TO GO!!!" I sped up my pace, not wanting my own child to be reminded that Target actually has a restroom. What IS it with kids and public bathrooms? Between the ages of 3 and 8, public restrooms are the mecca of their religion or something.  Their Holy Land.  A place of wonders and beauty indescribable.   For real.  I have spent approximately 68 hours waiting on my youngest child to finish up in the bathroom.  And that's just this summer. It typically goes something like this: 1. choose a stall and after several attempts, figure out how the lock works 2. change your mind and struggle with figuring out how to UN...

*Sadly (for you, NOT me), I have no photographic proof of the incident I describe in this post.  So instead, I have scattered various pictures from the trip throughout the blog.  But trust me, I could never make up something this ridiculous and embarrassing to get myself into.  Every word is true.* I will be FUN. I will be spontaneous and step out of my box. These were the dangerous promises I made to myself and my husband as we began our kid-free cruise last week (Which, by the way, was fantastic.  The kids even started speaking to us again after a couple days when we returned.  Totally worth it.). Those who know me can attest to the fact that I can tend to be slightly reserved.   Okay, I'll just be honest.  I am pretty boring.  I'm not exactly what you'd call a wallflower though, either.  I love to be with friends and I'm not shy.  I'm just not the person who's going to be the life of the party.  I'm pretty h...

The other day a friend and her kids were over to play.   Her youngest, a beautiful and very happy little two-year-old girl, has some hearing loss. In order to help, her mother wears this very cool little "FM transmitter" thingy around her neck, which is connected to her daughter's adorable pink hearing aids.  Whenever my friend speaks, it's as if she's right there with her daughter even if they're not in the same room.  It's pretty amazing, actually. Of course, this can prove to be messy when my friend forgets to turn it off and MAY say some things a two-year-old really should not hear when her daughter is not in the room.   That's a pretty funny story, actually, but I'll save it for another time (and maybe get permission before telling it since I'd prefer to keep her as my friend). This got me thinking. I have an entrepreneurial business idea for mothers of young children.   "Mama Surround Sound" I am...

I would classify this one in the "things nobody tells you about motherhood" category. Once you're a mom, you will never, for the duration of your remaining years in this life, take a trip without your children WITHOUT enormous guilt.   Case in point: at this very moment I am seated in an airport terminal awaiting a flight to Orlando for my first EVER cruise.  My husband is sitting next to me.  We are totally excited for a seven night Caribbean cruise in the crystal clear waters of tropical locations.  It's going to be great! But in order to get to this point, we had to endure heavy attack.   Our oldest daughter, who is unfortunately mature enough to understand how long one week is, was crying 14 hours before we even dropped them off with their grandparents.  This lasted off and on the entire day.   To make it even worse, we are missing not one, but TWO of our three daughters' birthdays in order to go on this trip.   Our ba...

I want you to remember this face.  Doesn't she look happy? I should've seen it coming. After all, I've been a mother for nearly a decade and am fairly familiar with the behavioral patterns of and triggers for each of my children. But it just sounded like so much good, old-fashioned, American fun that I couldn't possibly pass it up.   You see, we spent a lovely 4th of July with my sister and her family out of town. There are few things more fantastic in the eyes of my children than hanging out with their super cool cousins. The guys had a 7:10AM tee time for a round of golf the morning of the 4th (and incidentally, I was corrected today that they did not play a "game" of gold, but rather a "round" of golf.  This is very important.) Anyway, this left my sister and me in charge of the kiddos and in need of something fun to do with them. We were in luck!   A 4th of July Parade?!  Fantastic!  SO cute and ...

***DISCLAIMER:  I love teaching VBS.  I really do.  And I haven't encountered any little darlings this year who fit the description of the fictional child described below.  Some may have come close, but that's not the point here...it's delightful and I'm glad to get to be a part of it.  The best kind of humor is the kind that mixes some elements of truth with slight exaggeration, right?*** It's that time of year again.   Summer is upon us, which means one thing: The kids are back.   Full-time.   With us. Now, if you are a Southern mama, you are likely well acquainted with the single greatest summertime tradition since homemade ice cream and screened in porches.   It's the one thing that can save mothers everywhere from a slow and painful summer.   V.B.S. VBS...aka "Vacation Bible School", that fabulous four to five day program at churches all over the city where kids from all walks of life are ...

We strive to make our vacations memorable, wonderful times which our children will look back upon with fondness.   We don’t want them to forget all the fun we had and the time we spent together as a family.   Well, they ain’t gonna forget the start to this one.  That’s for darn sure.   Getting out the door to vacation is never quite as easy as it sounds.  Of course there’s the packing of clothes and personal items, but as you know, when you go to the beach with kids there’s nearly a Uhaul truck full of junk you must take with you.  I’ve put some thoughts down about this before: Anyway, here we are trying to get out the door.  And to be totally honest with you (lest you put me on some pedestal I most definitely do NOT deserve and you’ll agree after you finish reading this), people were irritated and it was my fault.  I wasn’t ready when I vowed to be ready.  Our schedule was off already.   Strike One for Mom.   ...