Room Restrictions

You'll remember that we've talked about my children's obsession with tape.

The other day they discovered they could skip the tape usage altogether and use something more readily available, free, and that they don't have to remember to put back. What?

Spit.

That's right. They covered Lauren's entire wall next to her bed with pictures they've drawn and kept over the years using nothing but some creativity and some spit.

Suddenly the overuse of tape isn't looking so bothersome to me anymore.

Anyway, my oldest also used spit to put her new "room restrictions" on her bedroom door. I walked by and noticed the new sign and stopped to check it out.

Since it's a little hard to see and written in 8-yr-old spelling, I'll translate for you:

no princesses - there are certain family members who are quite taken with princesses and their attire. Olivia is not one of them.

no robers - I can understand this. I'm not really keen on robbers, either. They might steal her squinkies collection (and if you don't know what these are, please...join us in the 21st century)

no spiders - we can agree on this one as well

no cherry eyes - long ago, we're talking YEARS ago, she had a dream about a witch with red, cherry eyes peeking at her from the end of the bed. Ever since she's not fond of "cherry eyes", and that includes red-eyed bunny rabbits.

no loins - now this one somewhat concerns me. No loins?! I would certainly hope not, young lady! I was just about to have to discuss this with her and pursue her line of thought when she informed me that of course it said, "no LIONS". Ah. Okay. We're good. Proceed.

no dinousurs - not a big fan of Barney, and we've recently had to endure Barney's Valentine Adventure DVD more than once. Torture.

no leafs - Hmm. Is this because she doesn't like nature? Is it the risk that a leaf might harbor a small hiding bug? It is a mystery.

no pennys - Obviously this child has not learned the saying about "a penny saved". Or she could be referring to our neighbor's dog, Penny, who has in recent months been spending a lot of time in our backyard to play with Hank.

no dipers - I'm pretty sure she meant "diapers". I can also agree with this one. We are having a slight problem around here with certain members not disposing properly of their overnight diapers. Hank is supposedly a bird dog. I would say it would be more accurate to call him a diaper dog.

no glue - good girl, Olivia.

no nives - Who exactly would bring a knife into your bedroom anyway, Olivia? This one perhaps could be grouped with the no "robers" rule.

no sparkles - a hearty second to that from Mom. Those things are darn well impossible to vacuum up. They just multiply til the whole room looks like a disco ball.

no ticks - she's been none too pleased to see her dog with a tic on him after a romp in the woods.

no lice - we've been blessedly spared, but countless others have fallen prey to lice in our community recently. If you've seen the hair on my children, you know what a tragedy this would be. An epic disaster.

no poyson - I'm also not a big fan of poison. But I must ask again, who would have poison, first of all, and why would they bring it into your room? Note to self: check the cleaning supplies and make sure they're in their proper place.

no wendow brackers - yes, window breakers are bad. Very bad.

And my favorite rule: Ages 7 and up

Wondering if I could make my own room restrictions sign for my door. I think I would only need one:

Ages 30 and up.

Oh, and no knocking or beating on the door before 7am.