Showing posts from March, 2012

The Promised Land

Legend has it that it can be done in just three minutes.
I've never actually seen this done, but apparently there are lots of witnesses. There are ordinary people just like you and me walking around who have lived up to the challenge.
Sadly, I am not one of them.
This week for spring break, we took our first ever Webber only vacation with our kids. Because my husband had accumulated so many hotel points due to lots of business travel, we were able to stay at the Embassy Suites totally free. Can't beat that, especially when you throw in the free breakfast and evening snacks which the kids pretty much think is heaven on earth.
Anyway, I overheard the hotel employee at the front desk refer to the impossible challenge I am speaking of to someone on the phone.
At first it made me feel very relieved. Very calm and confident that it would be no problem.
A piece of cake.

I am referring, of course, to the short trek from our room at the Embassy Hotel to the beautiful sandy beaches…

A Little Run in with Concrete

Well, it was bound to happen.
We just got a brand new hospital and ER within ten minutes of our home.
So, in order to make it feel more welcome, we decided to pay it a visit and check out all the new amenities.
You see, last weekend I FINALLY got my new patio furniture I've been waiting and saving for for about three years now. I was very excited.
A couch, two chairs, two ottomans, and a coffee table. It looks great! We can hardly wait to spend lots of fun summer nights out there.
But what's not so great about the new furniture is that it proved to cause the demise of our injury free streak around here.
This has been an exceptionally healthy year in our family. My kindergartener has not missed a single day of school due to sickness, and the oldest one hasn't either, though since she home schools she has to be REALLY sick before I'll count it as an excuse to take a day off. So far her little sniffles and coughs haven't measured up to my high standards as school n…

The Truth about Little League

Spring has arrived.

You know what that means.
Softball, softball, softball!
I love it! The smell of the freshly smoothed dirt on the infield, the white chalk baselines and pitcher's circle, the sound of the bat hitting the ball (or just swinging through the air at the ball if I'm is tee ball and 8-yr-olds we're talking about here), and the sweet cheers and chants coming from the dugout.
And then, there are some other sounds I hear as a mother sitting in the stands with my other children.
"Can I have a ring pop?"
(I got her gum instead. Yes, so I could have some, too. What?)
"I have to go to the bathroom." (which is clear on the other side of the park and is rather disgusting)
"I want a hot dog!"
and my favorite,
"How much longer? This is so boring."

You see, when you're a little kid, softball is not at all about the actual game. You really could just care less about things such as:
the numbers on the scoreboard,

the strategy …

Double Dare for Moms

Remember this guy?

A few years after I gave up playing with Little People toys, my younger sister and I became a bit obsessed with watching the show he hosted on Nickelodeon.
It was called "Double Dare", and it was the single greatest kid show on television during the eighties.

In case you aren't familiar with it, here's a basic description.
Two teams composed of four players each. They must answer questions from the oh so talented host, Mark Summers, to earn points. They must also participate in some pretty messy and awkward challenges. The team with the most points at the end wins the game and more importantly, the chance to work their magic on the famous obstacle course.
I'm telling you, it was just plain awesome in the world of a pre-adolescent girl. I used to daydream about being on the show and tearing up that course.
But anyway, it occurred to me the other day that in a way, I am playing a big, long game of Double Dare. I may have never made it to…

The Case of the Missing Money

The unthinkable happened.
It was so catastrophic to certain persons in this house that everything literally had to come to a screeching halt.
Even the dog felt the urgency and stopped chewing on shoes out of respect for the distressed in this home.

You see, I've mentioned before the great lengths my oldest daughter is going to in her efforts to save money for an iPOD touch.
She's doing pretty well. It's been a couple of months and as of last week, she had a grand total of $67.36.
After all, when you charge your sisters five bucks to sleep in your bed (and your sisters have zero comprehension of money), it starts adding up. She can almost taste the victory of reaching her goal.
After dinner one night, I sent her upstairs to get a shower and get ready for bed.
This is when her universe came to a screeching halt.
She was back downstairs after less than one minute, sobbing and tears streaming down her cheeks…

Playtime for All Ages

I grew up playing with these guys.

Little People by Fisher Price Toys.
They were pretty awesome.
We had the boat, the Sesame Street house, and an entire brown grocery sack full of the people, cars, animals, and furniture. We had the biggest collection of anybody I knew. My sisters and I spent countless hours playing with them, which I now recognize as the blessed gift from God those hours were to my dear mother.

Anyway, my own children are now playing with Little People toys as well.

A whole new generation of little families and animals have been produced for the entertainment and delight of young children.
The basic premise of the toys remains the same, but I couldn't help but notice a couple subtle differences.
First, just to remind you again, here's what the people I played with 25 years ago looked like:

And these are the little people of today:

Am I the only one who sees the slight difference in health and fitness? Do today's Little People look a little more, uh, …

Henry VIII was a Pushover

I've done some studying about this fellow.

He was not a very nice man.
Rather unpredictable and volatile, to put it nicely. He had a hair-trigger temper, easily set off. His royal court pretty much lived in fear, never knowing when the king would be in a dark mood and suddenly have them sent to the guillotine. It would have been fairly stressful to live like that, I'd imagine, wondering every second whether this would be your last day on earth. One wrong move and you'd be finished. You could be his closest advisor and trusted confidant one day, and the next day find yourself in the tower awaiting your execution all because the king didn't like the way you looked at him.
Yes, that would have been an awful life for sure. Thank the good Lord I was born in this era and in this nation.
But then, something occurred to me.
There are millions of citizens in this nation and around the world at this very moment who are living a life of terror under the reign of rather insane…