Showing posts from 2010


I have vague recollections of a time when the bathroom was a solitary place. A place where I could calmly select my clothes for the day, apply my make-up at my own pace, and take showers that were on my own terms. These are distant memories. In fact, I’m so far removed from those days that I can hardly picture them in my mind. The following is a fairly accurate description of “bathroom time” as a mother of small children. I will spare my readers the more graphic details, but if you are a mama and are living this life, you will smile with understanding and read between the lines...
When you are pregnant, there are certain things you give up for the sake of a healthy baby. One of these is most definitely dignity. But, it is for the good of the child and to monitor your own health, so of course you don’t hesitate. After all, privacy will once again be yours after the baby is born and all the doctors visits are over. WRONG.
The other day I was in a Target restroom (because as every…

Kids and Politics

I'm starting to think that kids could truly, honestly take over the political scene. Let's think about this for a moment. Kids are naturally motivational speakers, full of charisma and charm, able to persuade large crowds of people to do what they want. They get results, though sometimes we as the public turn a blind eye to their methods. Trust me, you'd rather not know the types of coercion they have at their disposal.
If one child figures this out, we're done for. They will be united and rise up to take over the world in less time than it takes to warm up a pop-tart (which is 13 seconds, I know).
Don't believe me? I have two words for you: SILLY BANDS.
For those of you not familiar with the term, let me enlighten you. These colorful little bands have transformed the lives of children (and parents) everywhere. Kids are picking up their toys, eating all their vegetables, and even going to bed on time without complaint all for the promise of these magic pi…
The Annual Crying's not what you think
My eyes scan the area quickly for signs of lurking employees. It's as if I can FEEL their anxious eyes boring into me, just waiting for what they see as imminent disaster. And I can hardly blame them. After all, even a supermom cannot prevent EVERY disaster, and I have voluntarily placed myself in a situation that will require all my skills, all my training.
Here we are. The moment my kids have chattered about and I have prepared for since the last time we were here. The one place where time actually does stand still, only it's more like Matrix and I am moving in slow motion, beads of sweat forming on my brow as I move towards the imminent catastrophe.
The annual choosing of a Christmas ornament at Hobby Lobby.
I guide my excited daughters to the ornament area, which really should have a "KEEP OUT" sign for mothers and children. Happily for them, however, it is still legal for me to take my butter fingered kids t…