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Showing posts from February, 2012

These are Two of My NOT Favorite Things

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We all know as mothers we are required to step up to the plate sometimes.
There are lots of moments throughout the child raising years when we just have to do gross things, things we never in a million years as teenagers thought we'd be willing to do.
If you're a mama, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Things that are just too nasty to mention. I really don't enjoy dwelling on some of my more, well, revolting tasks as a mother of young kids.
I have two things that just really, really gross me out. Forgive me, but I'll have to mention them here or else this blog will be kind of missing the point. But you do need to know that all pictures in this blog are not from the actual event described. I simply could not and was not willing to subject my readers to the horrors I witnessed. You'll see why.
The first thing I really, really hate is vomit. Just looking at that word in print bothers me.
I've gotten better, really, I have, but the presence and so…

The Management

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The Management in my home is getting fed up.
New policies are being instated and enforced with diligence.
New policy #1 (and being illiterate does not exempt residents from responsibility)


All clothes found in the laundry room or hamper which are not actually dirty shall incur a fine of 25 cents per item. Certain young residents around here are slightly obsessed with changing clothes at amazing rates of speed. Clothing must be worn a minimum of half a day in order to be considered for laundering.
Management has deemed it appropriate to charge a nominal fee for extra needless laundry. This seems fair. After all, the money will likely go to purchase additional detergent, dryer sheets, and Tylenol for my aching back. We are prepared for the reality that most of our residents will be broke within two days, but don't worry, rent is cheap around here.
New Policy #2



"No food allowed past this point."
This includes, but is not limited to, goldfish crackers, gummy treats, liquids…

My little Thelma and little Louise

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Do you remember that one crazy, reckless thing you did as a kid? That thing you knew you definitely should not do, but you were feeling daring and decided to throw caution to the wind? That 'burn the ships' mentality that you were going to do it and to heck with the consequences?
Remember that feeling?
I would like to introduce you to two little people in my home who most certainly experienced the euphoria of deliberate naughtiness this evening.



I don't know what came over them. It was like their Thelma and Louise moment.
And boy, did they ever live it out to the fullest.

It went down like this:
7pm. Bathtime. A tiny revolt concerning wanting to take a shower instead of a bath, but I quickly squashed the uprising and all was well. I got both of them in the tub, where they were all smiles and sweetness, and left the bathroom for just a moment.
During that "mere moment", my children went a little bit temporarily insane. Really. If I could have access to thei…

Man's Best Friend, Woman's Worst Enemy

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We are all greatly anticipating warmer temperatures and will happily welcome spring.
Why? Oh, lots of reasons. We can get out and enjoy the sunshine, I can set the kids loose to ride bikes and scooters and big wheels in the cul-de-sac and burn off excess energy, and we can make sidewalk chalk masterpieces on the driveway and in the street. We love warm weather.
But this year there is another reason I am counting the days to warmer weather.
It has to do with a certain dog:


Now, not to name names, but there is a certain pet in this home who has been somewhat of a problem lately. I attribute it to the fact that he hates me, but some have urged me to give him the benefit of the doubt since he is but a solitary year old and still displaying definite puppy behavior.
Nevertheless, as soon as I don't have to feel bad about this certain canine getting frost bite or my kids discovering him as a spaniel popsicle, out he's going.
Why, you ask, am I being so tough on such a cute little do…

For the Love of Money

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Things are changing in my home.
It was inevitable, I suppose, as my children grew older.
Yes, I knew it was coming, but I was not fully prepared for the severity and quick onset of a little mindset I like to call,
"the Mr. Potter".


You remember this character. He was the villain in the classic movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart. Fantastic movie.
Potter is a miserable old man totally obsessed with the accumulation of money. He's willing to do just about anything to acquire more, including lie, steal, and cheat. It's not a pretty sight.
Two of my three children still have virtually no understanding of the value of money. They couldn't tell the difference between a $1 bill and a $100 bill and would quickly hand over either one for a stick of gum. This can be quite handy when the tooth fairy visits and they are ecstatic when she leaves them a quarter.
As for the third child?
Meet Mr. Potter in the form of an 8-year-old girl.
Her appr…

Healthy Lunches, Owls, & the Government...

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So there's all this hubbub about the government checking children's lunches brought from home. They claim they want to ensure we parents are providing America's future taxpayers with healthy options.
I will refrain from my soap box on the government interfering in our lives once again, as that is not the point of this blog.
But seriously...okay, no. Moving on.
Anyway, all this commotion got me thinking about my own children's' lunches and the quality of the food I am serving them each day.
Now some days are just a wash, let's face it, mothers of the world. Some days my kids have eaten skittles for lunch or nothing but goldfish as we rush from place to place.
Thankfully, however, these are just some days.
Today, I decided to present them with their usual fare in a unique and fun way, because after all, aren't we mothers supposed to be the pinnacle of interest and excitement for our children? (Or wait a minute, I might have that mixed up with the Wii) I a…

TSA and Other Addictions

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It's not funny anymore.
Really. We have a couple big problems in our home.
Addicts.
This is addict number one:

The 6-yr-old. She is in a sad state of long time addiction. She's been a slave to her habit for six years now and has tried unsuccessfully several times in the past to kick it.
This is addict number two:
The 3-yr-old. Her addiction dates back to her baby days and has a stronghold on her presently. It's going to be an uphill battle for this kid as well, I'm afraid.
To look at either of them, you'd never know they were hiding a deep rooted addiction that's virtually controlling their lives.
I think I am going to have to take some tough love kind of action. It's time that I, as their loving and concerned mother, did the hard thing. It's time to break the chains of addiction at last.
Tonight I am calling to order the first TSA meeting in our home.
What is TSA, you ask?
Thumb Suckers Anonymous.
This is how it will go down. Both children will…