Learning to Leap

There are some nights when kids just go absolutely bezerk. Nobody really knows why this happens. Maybe it's something to do with a full moon. Maybe it's changes in air pressure. Maybe it's Al Gore's global warming. I don't know. But whatever it is, it applies to dogs, too. We had just such a night this past week.  Honestly, I had to let the details become just a little more blurry in my mind before I could look at it as remotely humorous. Here, in no particular order, are some of the events of that historic night… Earlier that morning, I had discovered one severely dead rat thanks to an effective trap being set in my family room. You can read about it here if you missed it: http://webberstories.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-rat-race.html Anyway, it had already been kind of an abnormal day by any standards (thank goodness it's still abnormal to have rats in my house). I got the kids from school and we got started with our evening routines of homework,...

There are a few words that come to mind when I think about this first full week of 2014. Unfortunately, if I say them out loud I have just broken my resolution to cuss less. Besides, this post would be too long if I share with you the events of today. But it was a doozy for this mama. It was the kind of day that makes you want to go picket outside Babies 'r Us and protest the blatant false advertising and propaganda they produce concerning the continual bliss of parenting. Despite it all, I adore being a mom. I love my kids more than my own life, but today they significantly shortened my life. But that's a post for another day…. It all began last Thursday when I began noticing what can only be described as droppings here and there downstairs in my house. I began to get a little nervous. As I looked around a little more closely, I moved from nervous to sick. Mouse droppings.  I immediately called our pest control company and within a few minutes our regular guy ...

There is no better way to recognize the reality that you are awfully prideful than by motherhood. I am convinced that every single politician out there should be forced to experience motherhood 24/7 for at least three months before assuming any position in public office. You want to see humble leadership? That would do it. Yes sirree. No hiding little areas about yourself that would be best undetected. Not with little ones around to proclaim your failures and shine the light on your pride. I can't even remember the insane amount of times my kids have revealed my flaws. It's uncanny, really. I am not Catholic, but if I were, I would just send one of my kids to confess my sins to the priest because they sure do know them inside and out. Actually, there would probably be a long line of preschoolers and young elementary kids lined up to speak with the man of the cloth about the sins of their mothers. They know us pretty well, after all. One such instance of being humbl...

In a former life, I was a school teacher. I fostered all kinds of educational growth in my students (I hope) and was just so thrilled when I saw the light of understanding in their eyes. It was so satisfying. So fulfilling. So wonderful to play even a small role in their personhood. So lest I be accused of encouraging ignorance, please keep in mind my past profession and my calling to educate the young people of our world. But dadgum it, literacy has really become a thorn in my side as a mother.  Before any of my children could read, things were just so much EASIER. I could spell out things I didn't want their little ears to hear in my conversation and they didn't bat an eye. I could skip long paragraphs of stories at bedtime and as long as I made up something that sounded good in its place, all was well.  When I was hit with statements such as, "Mommy!? There's Chuck E. Cheese's! We HAVE to go there right now!" I could reply with someth...

Sometimes I feel like I should've been an entertainer. I should've pursued a career on the stage, and I imagine myself delighting throngs of adoring fans with my many talents. Singing, dancing, being a mime, an acrobat, etc. But then again, so could virtually EVERY mother out there.  My talent show is seen daily every morning at 6:50am when I begin waking my sleeping beauties for school. And fortunately, I take criticism from my audience pretty well and do not let it discourage me from future shows.  It doesn't bother me a bit when they groan and throw the covers over their heads or when they give me the evil eye.  I set my own alarm for 6:30, giving myself 20 minutes to mentally prepare. I have to get into character, you see. What I really WANT to do is stand at their bedroom doors and mumble, "Get up and get ready," and then walk away. And just like that, they would cooperate and all would be well. Unfortunately, my children in re...

I want to address a topic that is causing me some distress lately.  School has started and we are all getting adjusted to a new routine, figuring out teacher expectations, and trying to never forget important things such as signing our young students' homework journals each evening.  I have been a little resentful that my children got adorable new outfits and shoes when I am the one who feels like I am carrying most of the responsibility since they are still in lower elementary school. I mean, seriously, who's REALLY in charge of making sure homework gets done and memory work gets memorized when your kid is in second grade? That would be YOU, Mom. This week, I had to remember to give my oldest daughter $5 for a recorder for music class. Oh, heaven help us all...WHY do we WANT children to learn how to play plastic flutes?! Seems a little cruel to the audience, especially when the concert will be in a large activity room with painted cinder block walls and a...

When you become a mother, there are certain skills you expect you will need.  For example, if you are a mother it's probably helpful if you know how to do things like make sure bottles are an appropriate temperature for babies, how to comb hair without major battles, and how to make sure different foods on the same plate do not touch one another.  I expected all this as I held each of my newborns in my arms. I understood the requirements and felt up to the challenge. Or so I thought. Ten years into my career as a mother, I still find myself woefully lacking in one very critical skill: negotiating.  Labor classes are all well and good, but what we REALLY need is a class dedicated to teaching mothers how to reason with miniature people, how to make deals with five year olds, how to play on the emotions of their children to negotiate acceptable outcomes. I negotiate all the time around here, but the one area I find most challenging is when tr...